Archive for August, 2009

Much Ado About Nothing… II

Monday, August 10th, 2009

Boy, if I thought three weeks without a post was bad how about this time… six weeks. Of course this time around it was because of a slightly elevated level of depression. Slightly elevated? Is depression worse if it is slightly elevated? Perhaps I should have written slightly depressed depression? Hmmm… that doesn’t make much sense either. Oh, slightly deeper depression! Yep, I can hear my friends’ whisper… “He is so negative sometimes.” Uh-huh… this is one of them.

Tomorrow? This changes one way or the other. I see the vascular surgeon and he will tell me how dangerous (or not) the bulge in the artery (what is the word I am looking for) is. Oh I do hope the prayers of God’s saints will have the effect on God’s heart I am hoping for. If not… well… I’m already depressed so there won’t be much change in that condition. Of course part of the problem is that my GP gave me medication to drop my blood pressure. It is quite different living on that level of octane.

So what has been the biggest change so far since I got the news of the aneurysm? (Aneurysm! That’s the word I was looking for) I have fallen back into my addiction of computer gaming. If people don’t think a person can become addicted to gaming they don’t understand what addiction is and what it does. Part of the slip is because I haven’t been able to participate in church activities (except for the recovery group… and that is limited to playing and leaving without the beneficial sharing). Why not participate more? Pain and tiredness. The pain is from the injury last Sept. The pain is mostly gone but I haven’t adapted and strengthened myself enough to stay and participate. Humph! That and the drugs and the depression… sheesh… I guess I am doing pretty good for me.

So there you have it. Much ado about nothing II. Hopefully after tomorrow things may look up. If not… well I guess I have to bite the bullet (and if it doesn’t go off in my mouth) stand up and start making some changes. Even the depressed have to fight to live and get things done. It just isn’t easy and certainly not enjoyable… that’s life… yada yada yada…