Archive for September, 2008

A Good Sunday, A Bad Sunday and Pain

Monday, September 15th, 2008

On the 7th of the month I had the opportunity of presenting a one man play to the church. I thought it went well. During the entire event my back, which wasn’t doing to well, did not bother me. On the 14th my back was so bad I couldn’t make it out to church at all.

It is an on again – off again problem. Over the past few months things have gotten worse. I thank God that he was with me on the 7th. Yet the pain now wants to be my constant companion. It is at the point that other ministries I am involved with will be missed. Now I am not complaining (too much) because it is a far cry from the back disasters of the past. I just want it to stop. I am asking for prayer that God will release his Spirit to heal the problem.

Honestly… a few days ago I was talking to God and came to realize that I am quite angry with him. It is the brooding storm within my mind that I did not want to confront. How can I be angry with God? He has done so much for me… more than you can possibly know… yet there, in the corner of my heart… anger at not being healed.

I had those who were anointed speak about a healing. I know of divine health. Yet it always seems to be out of reach. Is my anger getting in the way? I don’t know. I am just a king’s kid in pain wanting and waiting for the touch.

Oh I know that there are other people far worse off than me. Yet my pain is also real. It gets in the way. It holds me back. Can’t sleep, can hardly walk and the simplest of tasks will send me to my chair in pain. Oh, it will get better and not worse, I hope. And with your prayers perhaps God will touch me enough to let me continue.

You know a thousand things can go through your mind when things don’t go well. We try to justify what is happening to us. We grasp at staws to make sense. Yet in the end God works out all things… even if the end is not currently known to us. Do I ramble on?

I know that God will heal me (partly today?) totally some day. I also know that someday I will be complete in Jesus when he appears. Until then I will keep having a good Sunday, a bad Sunday and pain.