On the 7th of the month I had the opportunity of presenting a one man play to the church. I thought it went well. During the entire event my back, which wasn’t doing to well, did not bother me. On the 14th my back was so bad I couldn’t make it out to church at all.
It is an on again – off again problem. Over the past few months things have gotten worse. I thank God that he was with me on the 7th. Yet the pain now wants to be my constant companion. It is at the point that other ministries I am involved with will be missed. Now I am not complaining (too much) because it is a far cry from the back disasters of the past. I just want it to stop. I am asking for prayer that God will release his Spirit to heal the problem.
Honestly… a few days ago I was talking to God and came to realize that I am quite angry with him. It is the brooding storm within my mind that I did not want to confront. How can I be angry with God? He has done so much for me… more than you can possibly know… yet there, in the corner of my heart… anger at not being healed.
I had those who were anointed speak about a healing. I know of divine health. Yet it always seems to be out of reach. Is my anger getting in the way? I don’t know. I am just a king’s kid in pain wanting and waiting for the touch.
Oh I know that there are other people far worse off than me. Yet my pain is also real. It gets in the way. It holds me back. Can’t sleep, can hardly walk and the simplest of tasks will send me to my chair in pain. Oh, it will get better and not worse, I hope. And with your prayers perhaps God will touch me enough to let me continue.
You know a thousand things can go through your mind when things don’t go well. We try to justify what is happening to us. We grasp at staws to make sense. Yet in the end God works out all things… even if the end is not currently known to us. Do I ramble on?
I know that God will heal me (partly today?) totally some day. I also know that someday I will be complete in Jesus when he appears. Until then I will keep having a good Sunday, a bad Sunday and pain.
There once was a guy named Job who had a lot of pain. He had several friends who came to commiserate with him. Instead of sympathizing, they wound up criticizing and in the end had their wrists slapped by God for their attitude. Thank God for pain because it keeps us from doing further harm to ourselves by warning that something is wrong while we’re waiting for the cure. I’ve come to sit in silence with you and hopefully to offer some comfort by just being here and praying……………………………………
I’m praying too. I think it’s ok to be angry. God can handle that. Sorry for your pain. We’ll keep believing for a miracle! I can only empathize, Ruth can sympathize, because she lives with cronic pain also and understands the daily restrictions and lack of mobility. She says pressing into worship( playing/singing worship music) helps get her through.
I’m here too…no words of wisdom….just here. Praying for you.
I went out to walk around the block. Walking always helps and is needed for any degree of recovery. Sigh. I almost got down to the corner and had to turn around. Five stops on the way back to the house. I haven’t been this bad in twelve years. What is peculiar is that I still have some flex in the lower spine. Never had flex with this degree of pain. Thank God for that. It is different than before so I have no idea what I am to do.
Thanks for your prayers. I know God hears.
Here it is, another week gone by and my back is no better off. Walking down to the corner then trying to get back is all I can do. The meds the doctor gave me only help during the day while sitting about the house. Still can’t do anything.
When my wife got home today from church she passed on a prayer of anointing she received on my behalf at church. I like that. Tonight while I sleep… healing? Perhaps, when it does come it will be certainly from God… my hope.
My friends at church told Linda that they missed me. That is good to hear. Hopefully it will not be too long before I can break bread with the faithful some Sunday afternoon. Until then, those who have a heart to pray, raise a prayer for me. And thanks…
How are you feeling today Joe? We’re still praying for you.
I know the pain. It’s the pain that’s so bad you ask God for the mercy of healing or the other thing (which I won’t mention). I have had a bad injury and now suffer through the bouts of pain. No words help at times like these. Please know you are remembered and a church loves you, Joe during this time…
Ok, another week goes by and I might be a shade better. Of course I still haven’t been able to go for a walk. Doing chores about the house are limited to five minutes and then rest for 20-30 minutes. Some stuff just doesn’t get done. The meds are working a bit… well they might be working very well… I just haven’t got the nerve to try a day without them. Mornings are the worst, trying to move about. After my floor exrecises things are a bit better.
Emotionally? I am doing better then I thought I would be. The pain only flairs when I stand or sit too erect. So of course I minimized whatever causes pain. Oh, say the wrong thing and I still might jump done your throat… but I am wearing slippers… much softer. I also am managing to get some snatches of sleep. So I am doing fairly well.
When I think back to the days when I was totally fried with back problems… ha… this by comparison is a cake walk. Except when I stand. I do need your prayers and I thank everyone who is raising their voice on my behalf.
How are you today Joe? Ruth and I were just thinking of you……. and praying!