Once a month for the last two years our church, Crossfire Assembly, has held a supper and story time. After a meal a member or a couple from the church would tell their story. Last night Linda and I were the guest speakers.
I began with my conception and birth. I then handed the microphone to Linda. (I’ll let Linda write about what she spoke in her blog.) When she told a bit of her story she passed the microphone back to me and we traded it back and forth. I would like to thank pastor Roy Pierce for giving us an additional 25 minutes. That enabled us to give a little better telling of the story.
The theme I spoke on was vows spoken when being hurt. This hurting was usually in the form of punishment at the hands of my parents. Very early in my life I vowed not to be forced to show affection. I vowed never to be free with my affection. I vowed always to tell the truth no matter who got hurt. Speaking these vows during times of physical punishment and emotional turmoil put me on a path of separation from people. I spent long periods of time in self imposed isolation.
Eventually, instead of being a victim of circumstance I began a life of self-victimization. The results where drug and alcohol abuse, risky sex because it was dangerous, cutting, and attempted suicides. At the rate of self-destruction I didn’t think I had long to live.
My story then jumped to my rediscovery of God. This time instead of religion I had a more personal encounter. To make a long story short, I have been walking with him for more than 25 years since that time. The road has been rough and there were challenges that broke me at times. Yet, the Lord was faithful and in time would draw me back to him.
What I learned was that the vows that I spoke as a child, teen, adult and husband bound my spirit and stopped me from growing in the character of God. I was still a baby, a child or teen in respects to my maturity. When God began to remind me of the vows I had forgotten, we began to tear down those mental and spiritual strongholds. That didn’t mean that I matured overnight, far from it, but it did free me up to begin to grow-up mentally and spiritually. It has been, and in some respects still is, a long process. Yet I appreciate what God has and is doing for me.
It was a good night and I thank Crossfire for the opportunity to share my story. I hope that my story was a help to those who heard it… by opening a door of understanding into the destructive nature of vows… and hope that God could help them as well.
God bless.
Thank you for sharing your story Joe! I appreciated it.
Good site. Thank you.