August 23, 1998
How often have I wished that I would be set free from the prison of my own mind. The shadowed past, with its hidden secrets, ensnared the soul and bound them, within the mind, to the darkness.
When I was young, in the days of innocence, the deeds of others, steeped in that darkness and done in secret, captured my joy and turned it into the path sorrow. So painful were those forming steps, a burden, too great for a child to bear, that a veil of forgetfulness was drawn across the scene, hiding all... yet always there.
The foundation laid, cruel in construction, had set the play, my life, on its hardened journey. For run as I could, to escape my past, the hidden burden, pressing ever downward, caused me to stumble and falling headlong, I tasted the dust of the earth.
Time... and time again, I would rise from the dust, bruised and beaten, to sit by the roadside, waiting for a hand to lift my spirit. Yet it was never there. The tears would come and the tears would go, and I made a friend of Apathy. But his grasp is death yet to be, and releasing his hand, I stood, to run the race again.
I hardenned my heart and ran from my pain... in vain. Wherever I went, it followed. I journeyed down roads best left untravelled and lost my way countless times. How often I tried is lost in time. With each falling I fell deeper and the light dimmed more. I stood at twilight and embraced death, yet there too I was cheated. Life remained and the pain of my soul was its mistress.
The years rolled by and Apathy returned, again and again, eventually becoming my constant companion. We embraced each other awaiting death. I was lost and all hope died within me. My prison was complete.
A letter was given, for me to read. Telling a story as great as any told. As I read I was filled with sorrow, for the tale was both bitter and sweet. Yet, within these pages, was a story of hope, and it was as if a fragrant oil were being poured into my mind. With it I began to hope once again and prayed to God that it would be true. I began to cry again, for Apathy had robbed me of my tears, yet this love letter restored what was lost. For clouds of despair kept me from seeing the truth, yet hope was being born anew, silently, in the darkness.
I cried out with all of my being... "God! Do you really love me!"
His presence filled the prison of my mind and with these words, "I love you and will always be with you", a spark was struck in the darkness, and a light was shed in my mind. For the first time in my life I could see the truth of God's love for me.
My friend, since that time He has been faithful. I am not out of the prison yet, for the darkness of my mind was deep. Yet He has faithfully over 18 yrs led me more and more into the light of day. I hear the birds, smell the flowers, and the pain diminishes. He loves you so much, He gave His son's life to free you. Read His love letter... the Bible... The new testament... and read for yourself of His wonderful gift. You too can be led out of your prison and perhaps taste freedom for the first time. I have tasted it and want more... so will you.
Website administrator: Joseph A Raymond
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada